My concern is that some folks, especially those newer to the magical arts and occultism, will take my post as a recommendation that they give such a thing a try.
In my situation, there are certain differences to take into account, most importantly these:
- For the past two years I have been seeing a clinical psychologist on a regular basis.
- In supplement to my therapist visits, I am currently working through a book on self-esteem, and have been working with the material in a workbook of cognitive-behavioral therapy, as needed, for two years. All by people who have PHD's in psychology.
- I have regularly practiced meditation for at least two years now.
See, I've been dealing with non-clinical depression for, at this point, over half my lifetime. Magic can help with these things, but in my opinion it does not make for good psychology and therapy by itself. There are 'scientific' occultists and Scientific Illuminists who would argue, but this has been my experience: Compared to a clinical therapist who knows their shit, magic just isn't as good. And while it didn't take long for me to decide on doing that curse, I did take a lot of things into consideration.
Keep in mind, I've been under a crossed condition gone nasty, and it was at least half by my hand. It helped bring me to one of the lowest (if not THE lowest) points in my life, so as you can imagine, there's no way I would willingly or wittingly go back to that. So when I levy a curse at even one part of me, you can be rest assured I've assessed the nature of the risk and the likelihood of it bleeding out to bring the rest of my Sphere down.
And finally, when I performed the interplanetary call for Mercury of Saturn, I didn't go all out with it. I didn't work up a lot of power to throw into it, and I didn't call on any extra spirits to assist. I let the call stand as it was, using the forces of Mercury and Saturn that were evoked.
So if you're newER(or -ish) to all this, don't do this. Save it for when you get more experience with magic and especially with meditation. Seriously, if you're considering doing this and you've never practiced meditation, quit being an idiot and forget about it!
If you are experienced and have cultivated self-awareness from meditation, just be careful. That's all I'm saying. ;-)