Hello, my readers. It's been a while!
I'm moving in a couple of days, and so as one would expect, my apartment is being turned into a trainwreck of boxes and other containers. So far things have fallen together rather well for this move, which to me is a possible indicator that I'm acting in alignment with what is "supposed" to happen in my life.
The state of my apartment isn't the only reason I've named this post "Boxes". I also named it such because of recent magical and personal work I've been doing. On the personal level, I've been trying to stay mindful of boundaries in myself and in others, and keep from breaching them. Decisiveness and conviction is something I've been trying to cultivate more of.
On a magical level, I recently underwent the initiation into the Sphere of Saturn via Tzaphkiel. A slight, "background" depression set in as the angel manifested its presence, and when I viewed it in the crystal, it had an appearance very similar to that of the statue of Giordano Bruno, but with wings and ashen-white skin. It's been a week or two now, and I can't quite remember what Tzaphkiel said to me, but he agreed to give me the initiation into Saturn and integrate its forces into my Sphere.
What happened as the initiation commenced was not altogether unexpected. Sadness enveloped me, and a small depressive episode came on. But after a short time of this, I began to feel very calm and felt like I was perceiving this fathomless reality. It was infinity, but just a tiny glimpse. The feeling that all shall be, and that all shall pass filled me. Although the sadness didn't go away, it was modified by this and became the melancholy I've read associated with Binah and Saturn.
After some time of this, Tzaphkiel caught my attention again, but for a moment looked like it had the "typical" features of an angel. A good example would be the way Neil Gaiman portrays them...except Tzaphkiel was dressed in dark rags. After a moment the vision reverted to the Bruno-esque appearance, and it told me that was all that could be done for now. After I dismissed Tzaphkiel, the saturnine feeling lifted.
The results since the ritual have been interesting. I've finally been able to swing things at work so that I've become more productive, for one thing. Also, there has been my treatment of boundaries, and a better awareness of my limitations, both ingrained and self-imposed. Looking back over the past couple weeks, it seems like I've been working with those limitations more, and actually managing to be more effective as a person! Finally, time management has taken on more importance.
Patience and organization has been an increasing theme for me lately, as though mentally, things have been put into boxes for me, helping me to see things that are going on and work with situations. Eventually I am going to get sick of the Saturnian influence working so strongly in my life, and I'll move on to the Jupiter initiation (besides, I really need a 2nd job; don't worry, I'm already doing practical work on it). But in the meantime, the organization feels good.
Time to go continue putting all my physical stuff into boxes!