Saturn Comes Back Around

Several others on the occult blog-o-sphere have been doing posts about Saturn.  Saturn, the Greater Malefic.  The planetary force of time, binding, limitations, agriculture and death.

I've had recent dealings with Saturn, as some of you may know.  Reading through the posts of Jow, Jack, and The Unlikely Mage...I can't help but reflect how different my experience with The Greater Malefic was.  To all indications, it was the forces of Saturn I dealt with.  But its effect on me was positive right from the start.  And note, by "positive" I don't mean beneficial...Saturn's influence, when used toward personal and spiritual development, is usually beneficial in the end, but hell  before that.  No, I mean that, right from the start, after my initiation into the Sphere of Saturn and the beginning of integration of its forces into my life...things were fine and I was better than before.

Months ago I realized that I have some boundary issues that were causing me a lot of personal problems and undue strife.  After the Saturn initiation, my boundaries were more solid, and I reaped multiple benefits because of this.  Since then, I've had close friends telling me how centered I've become, and I definitely have a stronger sense of self.

The recent posts have gotten me thinking.  Was that all there was to Saturn's new and apparently positive influence in my life?  Looking back over the past 2 months, things have been pretty rocky for me.  Yes, I got some inner change that was desperately needed, but externally things have been really tight and restrictive, especially with my finances.  However, and I suspect I can thank Jupiter's forces for this...at every turn I've had the tools I've needed to get through it, even when it didn't seem like I would at first.  And every step along the way, I've learned more, gotten better, become stronger.  In many ways, it reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Tool:  The Grudge.  In particular, where Maynard goes:

"Defining, confining, sinking deeper. Controlling, defining, and we're sinking deeper.

Saturn comes back around to show you everything
Let's you choose what you will not see and then
Drags you down like a stone or lifts you up again
Spits you out like a child, light and innocent."

Throughout the trials I've been going through, I have indeed been fighting a massive depression tooth and fucking nail.  I don't know if that's a good or bad things, but it's working for me so far.  Maybe it's Saturn's way of working with me.